Adoption Update #1

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“How’s the adoption going?  Where are you at in the process?”

“Any news on a baby?”

“How long before you get your baby?”

I’ve heard these questions over and over the past few months and my answer consistently has been:

“We’re waiting.”

“Nope, still waiting.”

“Not sure, we’re still waiting.”

Waiting.  We were waiting for 6 weeks for DMV to mail one form to our agency so they could continue processing our paperwork.  We waited over 3 months for them to process the paperwork we turned in back in May.  Waiting and waiting to get a phone call that said, “we want to schedule your home study!”

Thankfully we got that phone call last week and our home study is scheduled for next Thursday 9/14!  I realized I haven’t shared much about the adoption process, where we’re at, and what’s next here on this blog.  So a little background:

  1.  In April we picked an agency for our adoption: Family Connections Christian Adoptions.
  2. In May we did our preliminary interview and paperwork.
  3. After the preliminary interview, they gave us a gigantic stack of paperwork where you pretty much write about every detail of your life.  I mean EVERY detail.  We also had to get physicals, STD tests, bloodwork (testing our cholesterol and other things!), meet with a therapist, turn in financial information, car insurance, and a million other things.  We turned all of that in the last week of May.
  4. In June, July, and August we waited.  Silence.  Nothing.  Waiting for the agency to process our paperwork.  Waiting to get assigned a social worker to get to our home study.
  5. Finally in September, our individual interviews were scheduled and home study is on the calendar!
  6. After home study, they approve us (should take about a month) and once we’re approved, we turn in our album to show to potential birth moms in hopes of being matched.

We are doing a “Domestic Infant Adoption”.  Different from foster-to-adopt in which parental rights have already been terminated, a domestic infant adoption is getting matched with a birth mom who has chosen life and will be looking for a family to parent her child.  We will, Lord willing, be matched with a mom making this incredibly difficult and courageous decision and walk with her the final weeks/months of her pregnancy until she hands over the baby to us, the forever family.

We learned that with unwanted pregnancies:

50% mothers will choose to parent

48-49% will choose abortion

1% will choose adoption

Only one percent choose adoption.  During our orientation, the director told us “African American males are the least desirable of all children.”

I’ll let that sink it.  That is a real statistic and a direct quote.  Even among Christians, African American males are less likely to be adopted.

Santino and I knew in that moment, that we wanted to carry our pro-life ethic all the way out and adopt an African American male.  We wanted this baby boy to know he is desired and wanted by us!

So friends, we are days away from our home study being complete.  A month or so away from being a approved.  After that, we will begin the search for our baby.  We will have our adoption profile ready to be shown to potential birth moms, in hopes of being matched.  We have no idea how long this will take.  It could be quick, it could take months.

We know we’re excited and eager to meet our baby!  So many have asked how you can help and how you can pray.

  1. Pray for our birth mom.  I think about her daily.  I wonder where she is?  How far along is she?  Is she safe?  Is she scared?  Does she know she’s pregnant yet?  Pray for her. Imagine the weight of having to make a decision like this, being handed a bunch of books of people you don’t know and having to decide which couple should raise your child.  Imagine the fear, imagine the pain, imagine the courage.  Pray for her.
  2. Pray our birth mom would be led to our agency!  And quick 😉
  3. Pray for us.  We are so excited!  We just want to hold our baby.  We can’t really see past much more than that right now.  Pray we have endurance and perseverance.  There is a lot of risk involved in this type of adoption (we could walk with a birth mom for months, give a lot of money, and she could change her mind the day she gives birth and we lose everything).  We are trying to be excited and hopeful, not walk in fear or worry, but be grounded and realistic at the same time.
  4. We are not actively fundraising.  Thankfully going back to Fresno Unified part time has provided for this adoption.  However, we know some of you feel called to give, called to partner with us and help bring our baby home.  So if you feel led to give, you can give 2 places:

City Without Orphans.  This agency helps so many local adoptive families in some way, and they have been an incredible source of encouragement and wisdom for us! Give here: City Without Orphans 

Danisi Adoption Fund.  We created an account at Adopt Together that goes directly to the cost of our adoption.  Again, we aren’t in need, but if you want to give, you can do so here: Danisi Adoption Fund

We have been so grateful to each of you asking, praying, and offering to help during this process.  I have a room full of baby items that some of you have already donated!  It really feels like an entire community is adopting this baby and we are so thankful.  I’ll keep posting updates and more of our story here, so check back soon.  Until then, pray Baby Danisi home!

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